A heart that's broken is a heart that's been loved

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356 days. It's been 356 days since my black and white life has started to have a bit of grayscale. It feels shallow to move on, to have a life, to live a day, to let a year pass by. But they don't just pass by. Some days are so heart-wrenching it feels strenuous to move, even breathe, and live the reality that was once my worst nightmare.

When I look back and read what I wrote a year ago, I question if I've made any "progress." If I've learned to grieve better. if I've found a way to live around this loss. In her absence, you feel her so much more. You notice her habits in her people because her people were her legacy too. You find her in Dina Masi's grip when you cross the road, how she wouldn't intertwine her fingers with yours but always hold your arm instead. You find her in Purvi Masi's laugh, she was always laughing. Always smiling. You find her in Nanaji's Chashma, in Umesh Masa's jokes at terrible times in serious situations. You find her in Ishaan's love for mangoes and Aamras. You find her in terraces with gaddas and cards. You find her in functions that are to celebrate the life she's lived, sailed through the toughest times with a smile on her face because that's just who she was. All this love to give her, but no place to put it. So you share it with your people.

You find her wherever you look. And I think that's all I've learned about grief.
You don't ever move on. You don't ever forget. You learn to live with the pain, and with time, that pain turns into gratitude. Gratitude that you got whatever time you did. And maybe, just maybe, in the greed for more, you find your solace in the reality. <3




Comments

  1. Omkar Chaudhari 21 April 2022 at 01:47

    Kya WHOLESOMMEEEE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mansi21 April 2022 at 02:37

    As always AWESOME!🫶🏻

    ReplyDelete
  3. Megan Pawar21 April 2022 at 03:04

    I have so much love for you and this write-up. You have come so far and that really shines through in the last paragraph. More love to you <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. puja21 April 2022 at 04:31

    Deeply touched! So well you could penned down what exactly happens in absence of our beloved ones whose presence was really meant a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown21 April 2022 at 05:12

    Never to forget but cherish them in memories tagged with all Grace they have showered on us to make us wholesome.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown21 April 2022 at 05:58

    Very true and touching. You have showed us the way to live with memories and let the beloved to be.with us always. Many thanks Aashu. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown21 April 2022 at 22:34

    Dear Aashka n family. Your write up moved my heart .
    I loved your positivity of remembering our departed dearies in all who are around us. The year has passed out so quickly but golden memories shall prevail forever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10 May 2022 at 12:55

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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