How the Pandemic affected me

We're living in unprecedented times. From what I've heard through various youtubers, it usually takes you 21 days to make something a habit. That's why they say, if you want become a morning person, wake up at 7am everyday, no matter what, for 21 days, and then it shouldn't be an issue. You'd think that applied to living through a global pandemic. We're literally living the hyperbole. What a sensational time we're living in. Many of us, myself included, seem to forget it's been a hundred and sixty five days since the world shut down. You get used to the flow, the lost track of time, the "when did I last shower?" (that one's just me, oops?) We're all trying so hard to get back into the normal and wish to just go to college and live at the hostel, get back into the offices and meet our colleagues, that we never did take the time to process, what a toll this can take on our minds. I loved my schedule. I had afternoon college, so I'd wake up early to do some Current Affairs for the CLAT I was supposed to take on 10th May, I'd have breakfast, get ready for the day, get more studying done, have lunch, call Mansi, ask if we really wanna go to college, she'd tell me we HAVE to because we already have such low attendance, I'd wear my shoes, pick up the newspaper and leave for college. I'd wait for Mansi at the bus stop where she's almost always run into someone she knows and then comes hurrying to me, and we'd leave. The usual banter, and then groan if we had Sociology that day. She'd take my phone and play some kick ass Lauv or 5SOS, depending on the mood. Then she'd stalk a few random people while I got my newspaper reading done. I'd interrupt her meticulous stalking with the news of what's happening around us. As soon as we're nearing college she'd remind me to wear my ID Card, and we'd get out of the car and look forward to meeting our friends awaiting us, because we're usually JUST in time, if not late.We'd meet the gang and if we were lucky, we'd all get seats nearby, and slog through the lectures until break, the best part of the day. Our tiffins said so much xD My tiffin was the epitome of my Gujrati-ness, dadi always packed like she knew that tiffin wasn't just for me. It was for the 10 of us. IT was usually after break, my favourite subject and lecture. We were huge troublemakers, and even though it wasn't all 10 of us in IT, our presence was definitely felt! We'd leave after 4th lecture, on a good day (you can probably tell why we had such low attendance) and go to eat again someplace. Chopsticks or Food Adda or Saras at Mahavir Nagar, we'd always find some spot. If I didn't have math class on that day, then I'd have chai with Dadi and tell her every horrid detail about my day, then there was just more studying, and on days I did have math class, included a lot more talking with Chetasvi and our math sir who'd started to love us towards the end of our two years together. Chetu would come 30 mins early and tell me all about her lab partner and annoying fights that she couldn't care less about. Then we had math class which was also super fun, if i'm not exceptionally sleepy that day. Saturdays were more for school friends, people I used to see daily until just 2 years ago. Sundays were a juggle between 5 hours of tragedy and whole lot of fun, depending on what lecture we had for CLAT. The 10 min breaks that always stretched to 20, and chocostix and frankies with the right people and secretly glaring at our competition together. Sundays ended with Ishika and Esha, most times. And then back to the grind. For the longest time I was not dealing with the fact we're amongst a global pandemic, and it's okay to not be okay for a while. To take a step back and absorb everything that was going down around me. I didn't anticipate that my entrance would get delayed from May to September, that all our plans for Mansi's 18th birthday would come crashing down and I'd be texting her 4567874836 friends to send me videos, that I'd go so long without meeting people I met daily and weekly. That I'd feel so lost. That I'd question the meaning of all the trivial things that we thought mattered so much, but when it came down to it, turns out it didn't change the world. I truly couldn't tell the difference between toxic positivity and positivity in general, until this pandemic hit us. Normally I consider myself a glass half full optimist, and if you'll ask anyone who knows me well, they'll tell you the same thing. But it makes you realize when you need to give others and yourself some time to just absorb things, and not be okay for a while. To drown in a pit of sorrow and heal, when there's a global pandemic happening. I keep saying that, because it's still hitting me as I write this. A lot of good things came out of this pandemic too, a lot of internet friends made, and some of whom I know are here to stay. I learnt how to cook. The six of us, as a family, spent so much time together. All of us have our own things to do, and you'd think we'd spend a lot of time together since we live in the same house, but the opposite :P My brother came back home, and honestly I'm just trying to cherish it all the time. Who knows when or if we'll get to live together again. When you're forced to think about everything that truly matters in your life, you can't help but think about the people you held in your heart with such high regard. Who do you think of? Who can't you help but video call every other day? Who do you want to run to and tell them it's going to be okay?